Anoushka’s spicy Russian apple pie
Translated from Russian by automatic language translator.
Slice and chop some fresh apples, perfectly harvested in your own garden if you have any. If you don’t have a garden, steal them from a neighbor’s garden when they’re not looking. Don’t peel them unless you really want to. Put them in a heat resistant bowl. Add a little fruit juice (of any kind) enough to keep the mixture from becoming too dry, about a quarter of an inch. Add honey, ground cinnamon and lots of mixed spices. Cook them for about 15 minutes and stir the mixture to break it down and mix with the liquid at the bottom. It should be soft and brown.
Roll fresh dough and use it to line up another heat resistant bowl, or use the same one after the mixture is temporarily placed in another bowl.
Tip: If you run out of flour to keep the dough from sticking to the rolling pin and Board, you can use a mixed spice instead. This causes the cookie to turn brown.
Cook the dough in a bowl for three minutes, but watch out for it. At the first sign of darkening in the middle, take it out, because it is sufficiently cooked. Everard forgot to do it the first time. (He often disobeys orders.) The thick door of the microwave contained an explosion, but it destroyed one of his late mother’s bowls. “Shut up, bitch! Lesson fecking learned,” he said, which translates as “Shut up, bitch! Lesson fecking learned.”
Roll out more fresh dough and use it to coat the mixture, then brush some maple syrup on top. Cook for another fifteen minutes. Then, assuming your microwave has a grill function (or maybe you have a real grill), fry it until the maple syrup turns brown.